Post Terminus

As the anniversary of my completion of the PCT nears, I often reflect back on the past year and the emotional rollercoaster I have experienced.

After months of feeling the highest of highs (literally and figuratively), once off trail, I experienced some of the lowest feelings one can experience. Questioning daily if the journey was an idiotic, irresponsible thing to do. Did I just pause my life for a year to come back to the same old things I wanted to change? Was I just avoiding my problems by hiking this beautiful, amazing, crazy trail? Did I just prolong my misery by taking the 5 month pause of my life?

But then I read stories about the terrible snow this year in the Sierras, the many deaths of thru-hikers swept into rivers-some to be found weeks later, others never. Stories of the wildfires sweeping carelessly through the forest, ravaging everything in its path and forever changing the landscape. Stories of those injured, forced to quit the trail, and hoping that they can come back another year and attempt it again. And suddenly, I’m filled with immense gratitude. Grateful to have gotten to pass through the entirety of the Sierras and experiencing river crossings where my biggest fear was getting my pack wet. Grateful to have hiked the Eagle Creek Trail, soaking in the greenery, the waterfalls, the river, and the sharp drop offs. Grateful to have made it all the way to Canada, with only sore and weary muscles. Grateful to have had my parents pick me up in Portland and do a little Tour-de-Oregon on our way home, making a pit stop at the majestic Multnomah Falls.

Many were not able to experience the beauty of the Sierras and many will not be able to explore the Columbia River Gorge thanks to careless kids. This breaks my heart that there is a little less beauty in the world now. Driving home I witnessed someone throw trash out of their window on the freeway and my heart ached. The carelessness of those caught up in the humdrum of everyday life and rat race that is society has only solidified my feelings about the decisions I’ve made.

Taking those 5 months to explore the great outdoors has truly opened my eyes and changed my priorities. Living in the Silicon Valley, I feel a ridiculous amount of pressure to work at a prestigious tech company or start up. I feel there’s more to life than making money. I would rather experience life while I have the opportunity than to spend my days in an office, staring at a computer, slowly counting down the hours until I can go home. I want to work to live and not live to work. I have emerged through the wilderness with a determination and purpose that I longed to have before. I have learned that it is ok to decide not to work an office job or have a career. I have accepted that my life is different from those around me and that that is ok. My life is for me to decide how I want to live it, and I choose my career to be adventure.

Below are some videos and photos of my journey through the Eagle Creek Trail and exploring Multnomah Falls. Incredibly sad to see them choked in smoke and flame. It will be years before they grow even close to where they were a year ago.